Bliss (Sexual Abuse/Trauma)

Current mood:  impressed

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I just watched the movie Bliss, with Craig Sheffer and Sheryl Lee and I’m going to recommend it.  As a person with sexual abuse issues that I buried most of my life and just recently unearthed, this movie could have put me on the road to healing a long time ago and maybe saved me a lot of heartache and ruined relationships.

If you know it happened to you or even suspect, but are downplaying the effect it’s had on your life, please have the courage to rent this movie and begin to heal.  I’ve recently heard that 1 in 3 women has been incested or sexually abused by the time she was 18 by someone she trusted.  Someone who was supposed to keep her safe, or at least have her best interests at heart.  Someone unconscious and lost enough to steal trust and hope from a child.  It’s not easily won back.

We are women who have a need to control everything and everyone around them to feel safe.  We try to please everyone, we don’t say no in the bedroom or outside of it in our daily lives.  We feel dirty, ashamed, guilty, used, taken for granted and ugly.  We don’t feel good enough, deserving enough, pretty enough or worthy of love.  We think we have to stay busy and excel or accomplish something all the time because we’re afraid to sit still with ourselves and feel what we feel.  We’re afraid to ask for what we want because we don’t feel we deserve it.  We don’t fight fair.  We don’t feel ok alone and a lot of us are afraid of the dark.  We need constant reassurance and validation from the people closest to us or we cut ourselves off from people so we can feel safe.  We can be clingy and needy or completely disconnected from our partners and friends, all of which drives them away and destroys our relationships.  We are living a lie because we were taught by the actions of the people around us that we weren’t lovable unless we gave ourselves away.

It’s not true ladies.  Every one of us has our own light, our own contribution to give to the world and there is nothing wrong with any of us.  We may feel that way, but we had to do something to survive that absolute disconnect from what love is and should be.  We created new selves to hide behind so the pain wouldn’t be devastating.  We’re tough as hell, but it doesn’t always have to be that way.  Are you tired of feeling like you’re drowning?  Are you tired of running all the time and never getting away?  Are you exhausted from pretending to be something you’re not?  Of defending yourself from everyone who tries to get close to you?  I was.  It’s not easy.  It’s a bitch to get through and it feels like you’re being torn in two a lot of days.  But some days, when you reconnect with your true self and can laugh at some of your delusions about yourself and the world in general, it’s fantastic and it keeps getting better.  When you start to take off that mask, there’s a really awesome person in there waiting for you and she likes herself.  She’s always been there for you and she always will be.

Give it some thought.  I don’t recommend diving into this to anyone who’s currently in a depression or dealing with a major crisis because you’re going to hit some rough spots and you’re going to need some time to yourself.  When you do, make sure you have supportive friends around you and maybe a good therapist.  Mine is a godsend, she’s exactly who I asked for when I asked for help.  Go with what’s in your heart if you decide to talk to someone about it.  If it doesn’t feel right, find someone else.  You’re going to need someone who can support you in setting boundaries and working through things that don’t make sense.  You don’t want to stay stuck in this partway through, so choose carefully.  It doesn’t happen overnight.  There are a lot of good books out there to help you through things, help you start moving in a new direction and changing old habits.  There are a lot of hurdles, a lot of pain and some heartbreaking revelations about the people you know and love and it’s scary.  You will feel like a victim and you will feel rage like you’ve never felt before, but it doesn’t last forever.  Sometimes there’s nearly unbearable sadness.  It’s not pretty.  You’ll probably wake up with your eyes swollen shut from crying.  But it’s real.  You’re an adult and you can see things you couldn’t see as a child, understand things you couldn’t get your mind around back then.  And you will find your beautiful true self and she’s wonderful, believe me.  The universe will bring you what you need to heal yourself.  All you have to do is ask.  And remember, nothing you’ve been through has killed you so far, you have survived in a truly courageous way, and THIS will not be the end of you. 
It’s only the beginning. 
Namaste, my friends,
E

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