It’s been interesting not working for the last several months.  I’m still not quite sure why I’m not freaking out, except that when I was laid off it really felt like a peace offering from the universe and I chose at that time not to doubt that feeling.

I keep thinking it should be harder, that I should be wigging out, scouring job postings every day, bugging the heck out of my contacts in the field I used to work in, but I haven’t.  I’m choosing to see this as progress because the last time I was in this position I really was freaking out.  I spent 10 months looking for work and barely accomplished anything for myself during that entire time.  I’ve always regretted that, a big opportunity lost.

I’m also noticing that there are a lot of folks in the same boat.  People who have worked hard, been efficient little time managers and model employees for years are now suddenly finding themselves without a place to earn a paycheck and they’re not complaining.  It’s like we collectively decided that it was ok to take a break and breathe. We’re taking this time to assess our situations, explore our options and move in a direction that moves us.  FINALLY.  I’m seeing and hearing about people starting up businesses, taking dream vacations, moving overseas, going back to school, publishing books…it’s amazing to see the creativity in their choices.  It’s like instead of fearing this change, a wave of us are learning to embrace it and paving the way for more people to follow their hearts into the great unknown and find out who they came here to be.  I’m really proud of us.  We have a very ‘team’ thing going on here, in addition to the creative individuality we’re suddenly comfortable exposing.

Most of all though, I’m grateful that it’s been so easy to slide into this state of being, and that most of the time I’m coming from this place of ‘nothing’s the matter’, without the panic and fear that usually accompanies losing your source of income, your work identity, and your sense of stability.  I’m looking forward to seeing what’s around the bend and learning to appreciate the nuances of timing.  I’m  anticipating events with pleasure again, and finding joy in tiny things that I was too busy to notice before.  I talk to myself a lot, but I’m in the process of becoming my own best friend so that’s to be expected.  I’m not afraid of the future anymore and I’m taking care of myself for the first time in my life.  I’m trusting that the Universe knows what it’s doing and I’ll be the 2nd to know.

Bless us