In the beginning sequence of the movie, City of Angels, Nicolas Cage asks a little girl who has just died what her favorite part was.  She eventually answers “pajamas”.  That movie has been on my mind a lot lately for some reason, even though I haven’t seen it in years.

For several years now I’ve been practicing ‘being’ in the moment, as soon as I find myself conscious of having a moment, anyways.  I’m getting better at it.  Sure beats running around with your ass on fire and feeling cheated of all the good things you passed up on your way to somewhere else.  Moments now present themselves in the strangest or most mundane settings, which seems counter-intuitive to me, but I’ll take them wherever they show up because they open me up to small pockets of joy and contentment that I may never have participated in had I not slipped into consciousness.

I don’t know that I’m going to have an audience with an angel on my way out, so I’m thinking that I should probably put down some of my favorites before that day comes, and maybe add to the list as time goes on.

Here are some of my Favorite Parts…

  • My step-daughter Ashley, brushing my hair when she was four.
  • Driving my ’69 Galaxie down the canyon between Estes Park and Lyons as fast as I dared.
  • The process of training my first horse, Asia, with old man Kelly as my mentor.  He was the first adult to ever offer me a beer, not to mention priceless advice and guidance on horsemanship, and the use of his gear.
  • Dancing.
  • My Uncle Glenn who taught me to ride a bike, swim, and use a pocket knife.  Riding  in the bucket of his loader where he worked on Saturdays.  Hunting for night crawlers with a flashlight in the alleys of Chappell, Nebraska at night after a thunderstorm.  He taught me how to use a knife correctly, how to harvest celery, and how to tell when an onion is done growing.  He always called me “Pill”, and was forever trying to stick a finger in my ear.
  • My sister, Sandy, who – no matter what – has my back and believes in me.  I am incredibly blessed to have been born into the same family as she was.
  • Waking up to the sound of my mom singing in the kitchen.
  • Teaching my blue heeler, Bitsy, to howl, in the pickup, every night on the way home from feeding the horses when I boarded them.  She’d make her mouth into an ‘O’ and watch me very closely… and then she would try.  I think it was for a radio contest.  We didn’t enter, but I’ll never forget it.
  • Swinging on a tire swing way out in the mountains in my underwear in the sunshine.
  • Fishing Rifle Gap with Royce, and driving home topless.
  • Camping and gathering cows on BLM land outside of Walden for a weekend with my first husband and his Uncle Red right after we got married.
  • Training horses for a living with Scotty.
  • Scotty’s grandparents, Ruth & Bob, and every bit of love and acceptance they’ve showered me with to this day.
  • Riding my horse, Bonehead into the gravel pit on O Street in Greeley.  Was way deeper than we expected, but she learned to swim that day.
  • My one-eared, short-tailed, dog-riding cat, Garlic, that Scotty’s dad found in the hay barn when she was tiny.  He had to wear gloves to bring her in the house, she was fierce.
  • The first night with Eddie in our new house.
  • Teaching my stepdaughter to ride.  God, I love that kid.  Even more now that she’s all grown up.
  • Sunsets over the Rockies.  Always.
  • Our houseboat vacation on Lake Powell with friends.
  • Campfires, all of them.
  • My Aunt Helen, who is the most resourceful and helpful person I’ve ever met.  She taught me to love gardening, and canning, and cooking.  Time moves slower when I’m with her, thankfully, because I want to soak up everything I can in her presence.  Her intuition has saved me from a terrible fate several times over.  I owe her big.
  • The way my mama still calls me “Dolly”.
  • Meeting all of my half-siblings from my dad’s first marriage.  Only then did I truly feel like I ‘belonged’.
  • Every time I hear from someone who’s passed.  I have nothing to compare to the energy and the love expressed during those times.  It’s both humbling and exhilarating, and there is always a physical reaction to their presence that makes me feel 100 times more alive than at any other time.
  • Riding 60 miles horseback behind 700 head of Sombrero horses from Craig to Brown’s Park, CO with Megan in extremely cold weather.  I’ve never seen so many horses at one time in my life.  Very cool experience.
  • Seeing two lunar eclipses from the window of a plane over huge white mountains of clouds.
  • Loving Jim.  I may not have done it well and I may not have done it right, but it was the best I’ve ever loved another human being.  I don’t know if you get two shots at that kind of Love.  I hope so.
  • Meeting Jim’s family for the first time, and loving them.
  • My cousin Christy.  A soulmate of the finest kind.  We grow in parallel, we always have something big to discuss as we’re learning, and the words to pull each other through it.  I don’t know what I’d do without her.  Her support is tremendously important to me.
  • Being pregnant.  For as long as it lasted, it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever been.  I loved every minute of it.
  • Racing trains at CNS and Oregon Trail Speedway.  Adrenaline overload.
  • Riding a running horse so fast that tears squeeze out of your eyes.
  • Josh teaching me to drive a quad.  Josh teaching me to clean my rifle.  Josh talking to me about his dreams and past life memories.  Josh trusting me.
  • Pepper.  Jim brought home the toughest, sick white stray cat I’d ever seen from a cell cite in Penrose, CO.  She was a mess.  Vet recommended I put her down after she tested positive for FLV, said she wouldn’t live long.  I took her home and poured over the net for natural FLV treatments, then brought her back to thriving.  She changed colors, turned into the most beautiful blue-eyed siamese tortie, and she spent 6 more years as my partner and confidant, gardening and home improvement supervisor, and friend.  I can’t wait to see her again.
  • Laughing with Jenni, any time and every time.  She cracks open the part of me where pure myrth resides, and shoves the serious behind the curtain.  Any time I spent with that girl is sunshine for my soul.  Her husband Chris (who was my friend first), is one of the best, pure-hearted, and generous people I know.
  • Anytime I have been of service to someone, my light has shined brighter.
  • The Dance with David.
  • My greyhound, B.  Sweetest hound I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, who waits for me to get home and has the sweetest smile, and my heart.  What a kind companion she has been to me all these years, what a Joy.
  •  Nude moonbathing, encompassing the amazing, pure feminine essence of the full moon, feeling the cool, powerful energy with my entire body and soul.
  • Cheese, the Oklahoma Wildcat we found in a truckstop in Geary, Oklahoma.  He packed so much adventure into his short life, and brought such joy to the pack during a time when we were navigating some very scary circumstances.
  • Food.  Oh my God, I love food.  Peppers, and sushi, and steaks, and vegetables from my garden.  Soups and bread, brie and crackers, gravy and pie and rotisserie chicken, lentils, peas off the vine, homegrown tomatoes on BLTs, pork chops and green bean casserole, green chile, carne asada tacos, boston creme pie, creme brulee, cheesecake, warm chocolate chip cookies, kale, wild blackberries, radishes, turnips…
  • Orgasms!  Yay!! for finally knowing what this thing is FOR!  Only took me forever.
  • Sleeping next to the man I love.
  • My mom’s laugh.
  • All of my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews.  Our heritage, our history, our connection.
  • Writing.
  • Walking on the beach with my sister in the Keys.  Drinking and laughing and singing with my sister in the Keys.  Driving around in a convertible with my sister in the Keys.  BEING anywhere with my sister.  She is soul balm.
  • The smell of horse, and rain, and mowed hay.
  • Thunderstorms.
  • Snow days.
  • Owls.
  • PartTime kitty, who blesses me with his presence every day, and likes me better than anyone else in the world.
  • Watching my brother have fun.
  • Swimming in a lake with my family.
  • Sitting in a creek with a cold beer… and my family.
  • Sleeping in.
  • Really good books.
  • Dragonflies.
  • My espresso machine that loves me and wants me to be happy.
  • The desert at dusk (and dawn).
  • My vehicular companions; Paisley, Bloo, Bean, Snuff, & Chuck.
  • Roadtrips to Indiana, Oregon, Kansas, Missouri (with Shonna), Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Washington, and Idaho.
  • Standing on top of a mountain in the Sawtooths with Jim
  • Every time I’ve seen a hawk.
  • Every time I’ve cried into a horse’s mane.
  • Every time I’ve loved something to tears.
  • Every time a movie, or book, or story has made me feel connected.
  • Every time I see my reflection in someone else’s eyes or experience, every time I connect with someone or something on a soul level, the imprint of that is never lost.

I am so incredibly blessed.

∞E

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